Monday, April 16, 2007

Anchored and free

Committing myself to M by getting married to him has been one of the most mature and responsible decisions I've ever made. I feel very grown up, which is silly as I've been a grown up for years! I've never been that successful in love and a couple of years ago I was wondering if I'd ever meet a man I could contemplate a forever-relationship with - someone to laugh with, someone to cook with, someone to wander through art galleries with, someone to try out new restaurants with, someone to travel to exciting cities around the world with, someone sexy and rational and sorted. When I finally met that someone, I leapt at the chance of being with him forever.

I feel anchored, rooted and yet, curiously, free. Marriage is liberating. I've got a great circle of friends and family, I've gained a masters and a PhD, I've lived and travelled abroad and had some amazing adventures, I've survived illness, I'm in a career I love... and yet searching for and keeping a mate has taken up far too much headspace than it deserves down the years. I know my marriage will have its downs as well as its ups, but this level of commitment means I can now focus much more on the world around me and in turn enjoy that world with M beside me. The ultimate amazing thing? I get to spend my time with my best friend, forever.

I've been married for less than two months, so obviously I have alot of insight into this marriage malarkey (not)! However, I've discovered a few things on this short ride thus far...

Planethalder's simple rules of marriage:
  • Don't let yourself go
  • Remember to say please and thank you
  • Snog, alot
  • Be each other's best friend
  • Continue to date
  • Continue to explore
  • Laugh, alot
  • Don't get lost in the insular world of "we"
  • Give each other space
  • Respect each other's unknown spaces
I'll review this list in a year's time.

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