Tuesday, April 10, 2007

The sun still shone...

... but we didn't get as far as St James Park. Instead we strolled along the Southbank.

We popped into the Tate Modern.

There, we whizzed around the Gilbert & George exhibition.

It's not my kind of art, but I appreciate how brilliant they are. It was a very well presented show and worth several more visits.

We popped into the new BFI Gallery and watched some historic film shorts about London and saw Jennifer & Kevin McCoy's playful miniature film sets. They reminded me of Gregory Crewdson's dark photographic reenactments of suburbia.

We ate lunch outside Queen Elizabeth Hall, where M ate a brie and mustard sandwich and I ate a feta cheese salad with spinach leaves, puy lentils, red onions and capers. We also ate some rather nice crisps.

Then we walked into town. We checked out H&M's COS. Clothes were styled well, but finished off poorly: the quality doesn't justify the price tag and you can buy better at Muji. I bought ti-shirts from American Apparel on Carnaby Street. We also bought provisions from Chinatown and from Arigato in Soho.

Then we checked out the cute new Do store on Beak Street, where they sell affordable desirables for your home.


Back home, M booked tickets for us to fly to New York City at the end of May. We'll stay again at the Rivington on the Lower East Side because it was a fabulous hotel and at the heart of a thriving night life.

I've got several books on the go, which is rare for me: Orhan Pamuk's magical realist The New Life, Katie Kitamura's reflective Japanese For Travellers, Amit Chaudhuri's claustrophobic A New World, and Jun'ichiro Tanizaki's meditative In Praise Of Shadows. But this evening, I've been embroiled in Janet Evanovich's laugh-out-loud One For The Money.

M's grilling whole sea bream with sumac and preparing a herby tabbouleh for dinner. Afterwards, we'll watch Wong Kar-Wai's Days Of Being Wild. This is the movie we were both watching separately at the NFT many moons ago and where we first bumped into each other.

And so the long Easter weekend ends. Work again tomorrow.

Monday, April 09, 2007

The sun is shining

We still haven't written our post-wedding thank you cards. We still haven't sorted out which wedding photos to frame, for ourselves as well as for our parents. We still haven't put the photos in albums. We still haven't sorted out the thousands of honeymoon photos from India. We need to do laundry. We need to clean the house. We need to shop for basics after the Easter break. But it's still Easter Monday. The sun is shining. So sod it all! We're off for a stroll around St James Park.

Sunday, April 08, 2007

Days and nights

We've just emerged from Satyajit Ray's serene and charming movie, Days and Nights in the Forest (Aranyer Din Ratri) - another of the DVDs we bought during our honeymoon in India.

Four young middle class Bengali men leave Kolkata, and their worries about love and work, for a weekend trip through the forests of Palmau in Bihar, where they bribe a caretaker to let them stay in a government-run tourist bunglalow. In the days and nights that follow, their youthful swagger and arrogance are challenged through a variety of interactions with the women they find there: Duli, a penniless young woman from the local Santhal tribe, plus two middle class women also vacationing from the city - the young and poised Aparna and the older, widowed Jaya.

A subtle, amusing and compassionate character study that is also masterfully shot and structured by a true genius of modern film. M and I enjoyed it immensely, but my parents, who had watched it when it first came out in 1969, found it too long and too slow compared to the faster-paced Bengali movies they now watch via Sky on the Bangla TV and ATN Bangla channels.

Satyajit Ray's debut film in 1955, Pather Panchali - the first film of his mighty The Apu Trilogy - was the first to connect Indian film to the rest of the world. Akira Kurosawa said of that film, "I can never forget the excitement in my mind after seeing it. It is the kind of cinema that flows with the serenity and nobility of a big river." Most people in the west think that Indian cinema is Bollywood, but there has always been a wide variety of film coming out of the vast sub-continent, from Bengal and Assam to Karnataka and Tamil Nadu. There is so much to explore.

Saturday, April 07, 2007

City girl snob

New-build developments, Tesco and B&Q hypermarkets, SUVs and Land Rovers, flat grey tarmac, Sky satellite boxes, manicured lawns, DIY, Pizza Hut, Wetherspoon pubs, golf courses, isolation, dislocation, boredom and obesity. These are what I think of when I think of the suburbs.

I rarely enjoy leaving London unless it's to go abroad. The refrain of friends and colleagues who say they want to move to the provinces to "get away" has never passed my lips. I grew up in the Kentish countryside and started truanting to London in my teens. I only applied to London universities for my first degree. Fully settled here now, there is too much still to enjoy in this glorious capital city for me to contemplate leaving, unless it is to move to a comparable city, preferably New York, Tokyo, Hong Kong or Bangkok. London is made up of thousands of close-knit communities and I thrive in the diversity, the variety and in getting lost in the exciting, messy midst of it all. By comparison, I find the provinces claustrophobic, monotonous and bland. Fortunately, M feels exactly the same.

However, my parents still live in the provinces, though in Norfolk now, rather than Kent. I love visiting them and eating their wonderful Indian cooking. We're a very close family of three and have always got on very well. However, as the train leaves London, I always feel the pressure descend.

Luckily that pressure's alleviated slightly by being able to upgrade to First Class, read loads of magazines, eat food I usually try to avoid such as cheese scones, jam doughnuts and Twix bars, and listen to music or try out new video podcasts. My short commute into work is spent reading books. I like to lose myself in other worlds whilst still being fully aware of what's going on around me. So I rarely listen to my iPod except at home when I hook them up to my Altec Lansing speakers. Behind the times, I'm still discovering podcasts and video podcasts. So far, I find most personal or homebrew casts too rambling for my tastes. But I'm growing to enjoy the BBC's Breakfast Takeaway and London News, the NYT's David Pogue, Radio 4's From Our Own Correspondent and NPR's Shuffle podcasts.

Tomorrow we return to the city and I've got a long list of things I want to see and do. But even if we simply chill, we will do so with the knowledge that there's a wealth of sights and sounds just outside our door if we choose to immerse ourselves in it.

I'm a city girl snob, and proud of it.

Umeboshi plums and soft shell crabs

Our long Easter weekend began with a gloriously luxe meal at Japanese restaurant Matsuri in Holborn last night. Although Japanese food is our favourite, we haven't eaten here in eighteen months. The best Japanese restaurant I've eaten at is the ultra contemporary and buzzy Roka in Fitzrovia, where M took me for my birthday last year. My second best experience is the eye-wateringly expensive and sublime Umu in Mayfair, which we visited last December. This is followed by Kikuchi tucked away on Hanway Street, where we've eaten several times. The food at this tiny restaurant is of fantastic quality yet very reasonable and most of the diners are Japanese. And then there's Matsuri, which is an elegant, refined dining experience and as good as I remember from our previous visit.

A selection of Japanese pickles.

The best soft-shell crab we've both ever eaten in London.

Agedashi tofu.

Assorted king prawn and vegetable tempura.

Assorted sashimi.

Buttersoft, rare Scottish fillet steak.

Plus green tea ice cream, Sakura cocktail and plum wine to finish.

Thursday, April 05, 2007

Feeling light

I've been eating healthier. Usually for lunch I buy takout from Wasabi or bring in sandwiches from home. This week I've been bringing in lunches of pitta stuffed with hummus and cucumber, or stuffed vine leaves with tomatoes, cucumber, hummus, walnuts and pumpkin seeds. The portions are smaller and I'm not snacking anymore. Our evening meals this week have included Hungarian beef goulash and spaghetti with tomato sauce, but my servings have been smaller and the spaghetti has been wholewheat. I've also given up milk in my coffee because it leaves me feeling bloated despite being delicious. I've rediscovered hunger.

Okay, so I had a bacon cheeseburger and a bowl of fries for lunch at Hamburger Union on Dean Street yesterday with colleagues, and had a few bottles of Becks at The George on Wardor street last night after work, and M and I are eating out tonight. But it's okay, because I feel lighter and more energetic and am enjoying my food even more than I used to.

Monday, April 02, 2007

Picture Sunday

My morning essentials: Clarins Hydration Plus moistute lotion, Kiehl's Ultimate Strength hand salve, St Ives 24 Hour Moisture body lotion, Vaseline, Kiehl's SPF 15 tinted lip balm, Sanex deordorant and my contact lens solution.

Kiehl's Grapefruit bath and shower cleanser, Aveda Rosemary and Mint body wash, Ren Moringa Seed Micro Protein shampoo, Aveda Shampure. Though I don't use both shampoos or both body washes at the same time.

Hogarth at the Tate Britain, and some very Hogarthian trees. The exhibition gallery was chock full of walking sticks and smelled like a nursing home.

A stroll in the sunshine through Hyde Park. The sunshine and Spring weather brought out the crowds. We ate a hot dog for lunch.

Pretty blue flowers in the park, and my husband's hand.

A wander round Selfridges food hall, but we didn't buy anything. We did, however, pick up a Bosch toaster from John Lewis - one of the items on our wedding gift list they hadn't been able to deliver two weeks ago.

Sea bass on a bed of tomatoes and potatoes for dinner at home. My husband had bought the fish fillets from Seymour Road this morning before we went out.

I indulge in a little bit of blog surfing while my husband complains, "Why don't you consider me to be a blog and look at me and speak to me?" But I love David Bryne and fervently wish David Bowie kept a proper blog - how rivetting that would be.

And now we're settling down to a night watching Hill Street Blues season 1 and immersing ourselves in a New York City that was once considered much more gritty and grimy than it is considered to be now.

Saturday, March 31, 2007

Yoghi, bulgogi and choy sum

It's been another good week for eating. On Monday, we ate chicken leftover from our Sunday roast, with homemade green pesto, sauteed potatoes, fresh tomatoes and fresh spinach tossed with garlic.

On Tuesday, I met my husband (I still love saying that!) for lunch at Just Falafs on Wardour Street in Soho. He chose a regular falafal wrap, but I chose a Yoghi Bear: a wrap with falafal, grated carrot, beetroot and mixed sprouts with yoghurt and cucumber sauce. It was so lovely seeing him smiling at me in the sunshine outside my office that I couldn't help but leap into his arms and smother him in kisses, much to the amusement of our door man. That evening we cooked deep fried chilli tofu with choi sum.

Wednesday's lunch was with colleagues at Ping Pong in NoHo where we ate a selection of delectable dim sum, from steamed - har gau (prawn and bamboo), scallop and shitake, spring onion and coriander wonton, Shanghai siew long bun (chopped pork and ginger consommé in traditional Shanghai pastry) - to fried - crispy hoi sin duck, Vietnamese spring roll. Along with sticky rice wrapped in lotus leaf. Wednesday's dinner was home-cooked spaghetti bolognese courtesy of Aldo Zilli, with rough-edged spaghetti - to encourage the sauce to cling - courtesy of the very lovely Italian deli Lina Stores on Brewer Street in Soho.

Thursday's dinner was with my cousin and her husband at the Korean restaurant Koba on Rathbone Street in Fitzrovia, a few minutes from my office, where we enjoyed marinated beef bulgogi, which they barbequed on the grill set in the middle of our table, and pickled vegetables.

Tonight, M and I met up at the British Museum for their A New World: England's First View of America menu at the Court Restaurant. We hadn't enjoyed the exhibition, but were willing to give the special menu a chance. High up under the magnificent glass domed roof, we ate Boston clam chowder, white ricotta and cheddar cannelloni with baby spinach and crisp quail egg, Maine kingcrab claws and crab cake with avocado and mango coulis and a cress salad, and vanilla and chocolate cheesecake with orange ceviche and strawberry sorbet. The savouries were fresh, flavourful and finely balanced; the dessert truly creamy and decadent. The service was also incredibly friendly. I can't wait to return and sample their normal menu.

And it doesn't stop. Tomorrow we're going to Loughborough for M's aunt's 70th birthday lunch, where no doubt there will be much more eating.

On Sunday, I promise I will eat with more restraint, not.

Tuesday, March 27, 2007

Two hours behind

Sunday was a much quieter affair where we left home just to shop for provisions. We flipped through some of our favourite magazines and newspapers - I love Marie Claire, Red and, ahem (I'm not that old, honest!) Easy Living for the mix of fashion, gossip and articles not necessarily just about sex, and we both devour the weekend FT, The Economist, The Observer Food Monthly and Wallpaper*.

Our new favourite magazine is Wallpaper* founder Tyler Brûlé's newly launched Monocle. Brûlé was a newspaper journalist writing for The Sunday Times, Stern and The Guardian, but after being shot by a sniper during the Afghanistan war in 1994 and losing the use of his left hand, he left journalism and launched Wallpaper*. His new magazine features similar articles to Wallpaper* on design, fashion, interiors and travel but then a host of others from current affairs and business to marketing and culture. Each edition also features a cracking good manga episode called Kita Koga by Takanori Yasaka, which I'm fast becoming addicted to. The first edition of Monocle featured a terrific article on the impact of China's growing influence in Africa. An article on the new power players in Ecuador gripped me from the second edition. I only hope they sell enough copies (and advertising) to keep going (long enough to be bought out at least, à la Wallpaper*).

Sundays in our little household of two are also about leisurely cooking: a chicken rice congee spiced with Szechuan peppers and red chilli flakes warmed us up for lunch. For dinner we slow roasted a chicken stuffed with lemons and ate it with glossy fresh spinach leaves and pearl barley mixed with sultanas and parsley.

We also watched one of the Bengali DVDs we bought during our honeymoon: son of Satyajit Ray, Sandip Ray's Nishi Japon or After the Night, Dawn - a terrific psychological drama (Bengali films are seldom like Bollywood) about a family getting stranded in their home in the Darjeeling hills after an earthquake.

By the time we finished dinner we were completely satisfied that at 7.30 pm we still had the whole night ahead of us - until my mum phoned us and alerted us to the fact that it was in fact 9.30 pm. We had put our clocks back an hour this morning rather than forwards. Doh!

Monday, March 26, 2007

Artistic encounters

Yesterday was a typical Saturday for us: a little shopping (for blouses at Nicole Farhi and DKNY and jewellery at Selfridges), a little eating (at Mestizo), and a bunch of exhibitions.

The British Museum's A New World: England's First View of America disappointed for its lack of historical context and information. The exhibition focuses on John White's watercolours that gave the Elizabethan world its first glimpse of America - its flora, fauna and people - but there was little analysis and virtually no description of the early colonies that formed in the region.

The National Portrait Gallery's Between Worlds: Voyagers to Britain, 1700-1850, though small was much more satisfying, presenting its subjects not as passive victims of colonisation but as active participants in their own engagements with the West. I love a good story, and this exhibition of people moving between different worlds supplied them with abundance:

The four Iroquoian representatives who visited the court of Queen Anne in 1710 to forge a military and political alliance; William Ansah Sessarakoo, the son of a wealthy West African slave trader, who in 1749 was sent by his father to Europe for his education but got kidnapped and put into slavery on the journey over, only to be rescued by the British government and arrive in Britain as a celebrity; Sake Dean Mahomed, son of an Indian officer in the army of the East India Company army and stationed in Bengal as a surgeon, who travelled to Ireland in 1784 then eloped with an Anglo-Irish woman to Britain where he opened a series of bathhouses and the first Indian restaurant - Hindostanee Coffee House - in London; Maharaja Dalip Singh (above left) born in Lahore and the last Sikh ruler of the Punjab before he was stripped of the title in 1846 by the British and converted to Christianity, who in 1854 visited London and grew close to the Queen and the royal family, who married a part-Ethiopian and part-German woman and who had six children with her on their Norfolk estate called Elveden; and great Indian intellectual, linguist and businessman Raja Rammohun Roy, who was founder of Brahmo Samaj which advocated a return to the Vedas and a belief in monotheism, who denounced both the caste system and sati (the ritual burning of widows), and who sailed to England in 1829 as an ambassador of the Mughals.

We were extremely excited to view one of our favourite photographers at both the White Cube in Mason's Yard and the new Sprüth and Magers gallery - Andreas Gursky - and are contemplating taking a city break in Munich or Istanbul soon just to visit his retrospective if it doesn't come to London.

Gursky is the world's most collectable living photographer - one of his photos sold last year for $2.4 million (£1.2 million) - and has photographed a wide array of scenes: from the neutrino observatory deep down in a Japanese mine and the chaos at the Kuwaiti Stock Exchange (below), to the frenetic activity around Formula One cars stationed in their pits and the mass geometric choreography of North Korea's Arirang Festival (above).

Gursky shoots on a 5in x 7in large-format camera before scanning his negatives to manipulate his colour-saturated and large-scale work digitally. He makes no claims to authenticity and his photos distort time and perspective. He is known to work on some of his photos a pixel at a time.

For his Pyongyang series shot at North Korea's Arirang Festival held annually in honour of the late Kim II Sung, with 50,000 participants performing in front of 30,000 spectators, Gursky made numerous visits to get the single composite shot he needed. His F1 Boxenstopp series were shot at various Grand Prix races around the world - Shanghai, Monte Carlo, Istanbul, Sao Paulo - and it is impossible to work out which piece of which shot ended up composited into a single photo. His shot of a Tour de France mountainside was shot from two positions - from a helicopter high above and from the mountain opposite - and then merged together to form a flattened viewpoint. Figures and objects appear duplicated across the photographic canvas if you peer long and hard enough.

Gursky's F1 Boxenstopp series are quite different from his usual macroscopic canvasses that draw attention to abstract patterns. These photos are cropped more tightly. They are more like iconic friezes, with a halo of angels (the audience) watching over the Last Supper (the pit-stop racers).

Breathtaking.

Sunday, March 25, 2007

Feeding the body

It's been a good week for eating. On Monday, we met friends after work for an assortment of tapas and paella dishes in our local La Vina. The next night, I joined colleagues for mouth watering dim sum, stir fries and Chinese tea and vodka cocktails at Yauatcha. My favourite was the steamed scallop and kumquat dim sum and stir fried beef strips with mango.

M's time off work is producing lots of delights in the kitchen: he used one of our wedding gifts - the slow cooker - to make a beef and red wine stew; from Fuchsia Dunlop's Revolutionary Chinese Cookbook he's made zi ran niu rou or beef with cumin and xiang cai niu rou si or beef slivers with coriander; as well as a super quick chicken, broccoli and tomato stew.

Tonight, we ate at Mexican restaurant Mestizo. M's choices were spot on: carnitas tacos and lamb shank mixiote, both flavoured just right. My tamales, however, were very bland, and my mole poblano came with poussin, not the chicken breast I asked for, and the sauce was heavy on the sugar and light on the chilli. The service was excellent though.

I fear I have forgotten how to cook!

Thursday, March 22, 2007

One girl

The life story of Amrita Sher-Gil, who we saw recently at the Tate Modern, is hypnotic. Most often compared to Frida Kahlo, both in her work and in her life, Amrita was born in Budapest in 1913, to a maverick Sikh aristocrat, yoga guru and Sanskrit scholar, and a Hungarian singer. The parents had met in Lahore, then in undivided India and, I hazard a guess, have fascinating life stories in their own rights . The family lived in Hungary for several years before moving back to India (Shimla) where they lived and entertained extravagantly. It makes me wonder the picture this family must have made in Budapest: the dapper and imposing Sikh with his enormous turban, the elegant Hungarian wife, and their two exquisitely beautiful daughters.

Amrita left India for Europe where she trained as a painter in Paris and was heavily influenced by Paul Cézanne, Paul Gauguin and Amedeo Modigliani. She hung out in Paris' 1930s bohemian circles. But when she returned to India in 1934, she began a rediscovery of the traditions of Indian art, particularly the schools of Mughal miniatures and the Ajanta paintings. Her work also showed influences of Hungarian folk art. She began to tour South India, painting, with a passionate sense of colour, the lives of the villagers she met and produced paintings with titles such as "Brahmacharis", "South Indian Villagers Going to Market", "Banana Sellers" and "Brides' Toilette".

In 1938, she married her Hungarian first cousin, a doctor, and the couple settled in Lahore. Lahore was a major artistic centre then. Suffering from bouts of depression, coupled with her naturally fiery nature and the boredom she felt in her marriage, Amrita had many affairs with both women and men. She died alone in 1941, not yet 30 years old - perhaps of peritonitis or a failed abortion attempt. After her death, the Indian government declared her works as National Art Treasures.

Monday, March 19, 2007

The voyage

This is when I bumped into him. This is when we had our first kiss. This is when he asked me to marry him. And this is when we got married. What next?

Sunday, March 18, 2007

A new adventure

We've been back in London for a week now. Our honeymoon in India was a whirlwind trip from Calcutta to Gawahati to Jamshedpur and back to Calcutta again introducing M to both sides of my spralling family.

M was a big hit, not least for the fact that he devoured the Bengali fish dishes made from rui, hilsa and pabda. They all loved that! He enjoyed himself because it was his first experience of India not as a tourist but as a member of a Bengali family. He got some insights into everyday Bengali living.

My parents loved it because they could see their brothers and sisters again. When our family gathers together in India there is much singing, dancing and joking. My father's family in particular - he is one of thirteen - is very musical and jocular and virtually every night produced some form of hilarious impromptu entertainment.

Needless to say, as fun as it was, it was also exhausting and we were both eager to retreat to the luxurious privacy of the Oberoi Grand in Calcutta for our last two nights in India. We recovered with alot of sleep and some spa treatments. On the plane back, we were already planning a second, quieter, honeymoon in Japan later this Fall - just the two of us.

And then it was back to work for me (M has a few weeks off before he begins his new job) and our regular routine of cooking (lots of grilled fish), eating out (the Kurdish Tara and Sardo which is not as refined as Passione but perfect Italian comfort food nonetheless), visiting art galleries (Amrita Sher-Gil at the Tate and Alvar Aalto at the Barbican), shopping (new Spring blouses for me now the weather is warming up), as well as just chilling.

Our usual routine, except that we're married now. I'm still myself and yet different. It goes beyond the wedding ring and the new surname. As a former anthropologist, I get a kick out of having formed a new, legally recognised, kinship unit together. I feel a little more grown up, a little more stable, a little more secure. Intensely lucky that I found him. We've embarked on a new adventure together.

Monday, February 26, 2007

Cloud nine

I'm still on cloud nine and more than a little shaky, but I am now - as of 4.30pm on Saturday, 24 February - a married woman. I still haven't come down from the gloriousness of it all. We had a wonderful time with family and friends. And yes, I cried through my vows. Tomorrow morning we get up at an ungodly hour to set off for our honeymoon. We've had little alone time with each other and it's going to be just as busy during the next two weeks in India, where M meets my entire family for the first time. We're exhausted and ecstatic. And I'm still trying to get used to calling M "my husband". See you in two weeks!

Wedding: Menu

  • Herb-stuffed lemon sole fillets with spiced tomato dressing
  • Roast lamb served with feta and spinach potato cakes
  • Passionfruit creme brulee

Wedding: Vows

I, [me], take you [M], to be my husband, my constant friend, my faithful partner in life, and my one true love. On this day, I give to you in the presence of these witnesses my promise to stay by your side as your faithful wife in sickness and in health, in joy and in sorrow, through the good times and the bad. I promise to love you, comfort you, encourage you, laugh with you, cry with you, grow with you, and cherish you.

Exchange of Rings:

With this ring, I give you my hand, my heart, and my love, from this day forward for as long as we both shall live.

Wedding: Reading 2

i carry your heart with me by e. e. cummings

i carry your heart with me (i carry it in
my heart) i am never without it (anywhere
i go you go, my dear; and whatever is done
by only me is your doing, my darling)

i fear
no fate (for you are my fate, my sweet) i want
no world (for beautiful you are my world, my true)
and it's you are whatever a moon has always meant
and whatever a sun will always sing is you

here is the deepest secret nobody knows
(here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud
and the sky of the sky of a tree called life; which grows
higher than soul can hope or mind can hide)
and this is the wonder that's keeping the stars apart

i carry your heart (i carry it in my heart)

Wedding: Reading 1

Unending Love by Rabindranath Tagore

I seem to have loved you in numberless forms, numberless times,
In life after life, in age after age forever.
My spell-bound heart has made and re-made the necklace of songs
That you take as a gift, wear round your neck in your many forms
In life after life, in age after age forever.

Whenever I hear old chronicles of love, its age-old pain,
Its ancient tale of being apart or together,
As I stare on and on into the past, in the end you emerge
Clad in the light of a pole-star piercing the darkness of time:
You become an image of what is remembered forever.

You and I have floated here on the stream that brings from the fount
At the heart of time love of one for another.
We have played alongside millions of lovers, shared in the same
Shy sweetness of meeting, the same distressful tears of farewell-
Old love, but in shapes that renew and renew forever.

Today it is heaped at your feet, it has found its end in you,
The love of all man's days both past and forever:
Universal joy, universal sorrow, universal life,
The memories of all loves merging with this one love of ours-
And the songs of every poet past and forever.

Wedding: Order of Service

  • 3pm Guests arrive and drinks are served
  • 3.45pm Guests take their seats in The Music Room
  • 4pm Arrival of the Bride

The Marriage
  • The Purpose of Marriage
  • Reading - Unending Love
  • Vows
  • Reading - i carry your heart with me
  • Exchange of rings
  • Signing of the Register

  • 4.30pm Photographs
  • Drinks and canapes
  • 6pm The Wedding Dinner
  • Speeches and cutting of the cake
  • To 10.30pm Drinks

Friday, February 23, 2007

This is it

I left work last night to great excitement amongst my colleagues. They'd bought me gift tokens and a lovely card. Then today I spent a few hours in Aveda in Holborn having intensive hair treatments to make everything shine as I'm wearing my hair down. They did my hands and nails too. I'm back at home now packing a bag as we're in a hotel tonight near the wedding venue with our families. I've gone through our list a thousand times. Now I'm printing our vows onto cards and double-checking we have everything else printed off - the readings, the order of service, the table settings... M's now phoning a black cab. The champagne is chilling in the fridge for the two of us when we return home again. By tomorrow night I will be a married woman. This is it...

Thursday, February 22, 2007

Lists

Today is my last day at work for a few weeks and there are two days left to our wedding. All my waking hours are micro-managed by detailed lists. A long list for work, ensuring I get everything out the door by end of play today and ensuring I brief those who will be managing my various projects while I'm away. And a list for our wedding, juggling the last details into their proper places - my attire, our guests' accomodation, last minute arrangements with the suppliers, and transport.

I can't wait for Saturday for many obvious reasons, not least the fact that once the guests begin to arrive at the venue and we've had a few glasses of the bubbly stuff, there's little we both can do but relax and enjoy their company and our celebration.

Wednesday, February 21, 2007

To take, or not to take...

... my future husband's name. That is the question I've been toying with for some months now. Various thoughts, for and against, have been surfacing - the usual ones to do with identity, sexual politics and familiarity. If I take his name, I face the slightly daunting prospect of having to defend the decision to some very political friends - all of whom have kept the surnames they were born with (their fathers' names). Most likely they would consider such a decision to be politically incorrect. Others would think I'd be losing my hard-earned professional identity. It troubles me a little that people Googling me with a new name will find no record of my pre-married life: the conference papers, the small publication record, my professional life as a charity campaigner.

A recent Harvard University sudy suggested that the proportion of educated professional women choosing to take their husbands' surname is on the rise. I've built an academic and charity sector career with the name of my father. Now, for the first time, I've moved into the corporate sector and am starting over. A new name is exciting to me - it not only denotes a change, a commitment to another person, a new life as part of a loving unit... but a whole new phase in my professional life too. My old name will be forever associated with academia. My new name will now be associated with my new life in the corporate world.

It's terribly exciting - this chance to both be myself and another. To renew myself. And, hey, I'm taking that most traditional step and getting married - from there it's not much of a leap to change my name too.

Sunday, February 18, 2007

Wedding countdown

Less than a week to go and it's been a whirlwind.

I renewed my passport on Friday morning before work. Our joint hen and stag night on Friday began with cocktails galore at The Trafalgar on Trafalgar Square and ended with more alcohol, loads of Arabic-Mediterranean food and live serenading at the wonderfully kitsch and over-the-top Sarastro on Drury Lane.

On Saturday, I had my face made up at the Bobbie Brown counter at John Lewis and left with good ideas and gulp £250 worth of makeup and brushes. I bought hair products from Aveda in Selfridges and got my vaccinations done for our honeymoon in India next week at Masta. Then we met M's father, sister and her friend (they had been to see Arsenal play at the Emirates) at Finsbury Park's wonderful Olive Tree restaurant where they all ate lamb kleftico and I ate a massive tower of beef steak, feta cheese and grilled aubergine.

Today, we've been finalising the Order of Service and the seating arrangements for the reception dinner, and have been going through our honeymoon travel arrangements. Tomorrow, M has a day off work and so will be making final preparations with the caterers, florist, musicians and venue, and will also be buying the favours.

The final countdown to our wedding day has begun. I am so excited, I can't believe it!

Friday, February 16, 2007

Hmmmm

I'm such a dork. We're flying out to India in less than two weeks and I've just realised my passport expires in less than six months. Off to the passport office I go... On the positive side, apart from make-up, I'm all set for the Big Day - got my dress, got my jewellery, got my hair sorted, got my shoes, got my bouquet sorted. There must be something else I'm missing, hmmmm. Joint hen and stag night tomorrow!

Monday, February 12, 2007

Bengali kitchen


Turnpike Lane was frantically busy today with mainly Bangladeshi Bengalis stocking up on provisions in the numerous mini-markets and "saree" shops that line the little stretch of road around the Tube station. M and I joined them this morning. At the fishmonger, we asked for either carp or catfish. "What are you making?" the fishmonger asked. "A fish curry," I replied. To which he responded, "Most of my Pakistani and Bengali customers buy mullet for their fish curries." So grey mullet it was. "Do you want the fish heads too? My customers put them in to flavour the broth." "No, it's okay," I said.

As a Bengali I know how popular fish heads are for flavouring gravies and dals, but as an ex-vegetarian - vegetarian for eleven years, vegan for two years - I'm still a little squeamish of things with eyes and mouths.

From neighbouring grocery stores we also bought bags of patol, baby aubergines, sweet potatoes, shim and bunches of spinach, plus some kalanji or nigella seeds. From a sari shop I bought a pack of deep red round and a pack of silver diamond-shaped bindis for my wedding.

As M was returning back from an Arsenal match, I cooked tonight's dinner of maacher jhol (fish steaks in a spicy water) and palong shager ghonto (spicy spinach and sweet potato curry).

For the maacher jhol, I rubbed a little turmeric powder and salt into the skin and flesh of six grey mullet steaks and set aside. After fifteen minutes I heated some mustard oil in a heavy pan and fried the mullet steaks for around three minutes on each side until they were crisp and set aside. I peeled and grated an inch of ginger, and ground together a teaspoon each of whole cumin and mustard seeds. I finely diced a medium onion and fried the entire mixture in the mustard oil along with a teaspoon of nigella or onion seeds, six small dried red chillies and a teaspoon of ground coriander until everything sizzled gently. I added a few fresh chopped tomatoes and returned the fish to the pan along with some boiling water. The water came halfway up the sides of the fish steaks. I lidded the pan and simmered gently for ten minutes.

For the palong shager ghonto, I washed and chopped two big bunches of fresh spinach and six baby aubergine, and peeled and diced a white-fleshed sweet potato. I ground together a teaspoon of cumin seeds, a tablespoon of coriander seeds and six small dried red chillies into a fine powder. I heated the mustard oil in a heavy pan with an inch of grated ginger and a teaspoon of whole cumin seeds until they crackled and popped. I added the ground spice mixture and a teaspoon of turmeric powder, fried it a little then added all the vegetables and a teaspoon of sugar. I added enough boiling water so the vegetables were nearly covered and cooked at a simmer for twenty minutes, adding salt to taste.

I served both with Basmati rice. It was alot of food and there's enough for tomorrow so it'll save us cooking again. Sunday's were always big cooking days in my parents' house as I was growing up. Heady aromas would gradually fill the kitchen during the course of the day as both my mum and dad cooked several curry dishes. For M and I, Sundays now afford the lazy luxury of time to cook slow-cook food - curries, stews, roasts... Lovely.

Sunday, February 11, 2007

Diverse

We returned yesterday to Anselm Kiefer's transformative and uplifting Aperiatur Terra at the White Cube gallery in Mason's Yard. We also visited the Photographers' Gallery in Covent Garden to view this year's Deutsche Börse Photography Prize exhibition featuring Philippe Chancel's crisp and dispassionate photographs from inside North Korea, Anders Petersen's photographic essay from the margins of Hamburg society a la Christer Stromholm, Walid Raad's photos of ravaged Beirut, and Fiona Tan's individual and family portraiture. Perhaps it was because I was still feeling tired from a busy work week, but none of the prize entries moved me. I liked Chancel's work, but I felt I had seen work like Petersen's and Tan's many times before.

We ate delicious assorted dim sum at Laureate on Shaftesbury Avenue and then walked up to Oxford Street where at Office I found pretty silver shoes to wear with my wedding sari and at Accessorise I found a cute silver and sequin clutch bag to carry on the day too. Then we watched Nuri Bilge Ceylan's latest movie Climates at the Renoir about the breakdown of the relationship between a bored and jaded middle-aged university lecturer and his younger, fiestier TV art director wife - both main characters played by the director and his real-life wife Ebru Ceylan. A pensive, subtle meditation on middle class relationships in decline with wonderful shots of the Turkish landscape.

Though I'm not a fan of the fusty, middle-aged atmosphere of the Renoir, it struck me as comical that a largely English audience waiting to view a modern Turkish movie were forced first to sit through a short art movie ranting on in very simplistic terms about how globalisation leads to cultural homogenisation. Cultural homogenisation was also not to be seen at dinner back on Green Lanes at the restaurant Mesopotamia where the owners were Turkish, the waitresses were Eastern European and the clientele were English, French and Bangladeshi.

At the restaurant, M (English-Polish-Jewish) ate a meaty, succulent grilled sea bream with salad and I (English-Indian-Catholic-Hindu-Brahmo) had a rather oily diced lamb dish with yoghurt, garlic and aubergines. I think I will stick to the much better Anteplilier and only return here for the undoubtedly delicious fish dishes. I can't, however, fault Mesopotamia for its warm and attentive service though.

Saturday, February 10, 2007

Kicking off

Over the past few days I've eaten: Fuchsia Dunlop's Numbing-and-hot chicken (above), cooked by M, featuring Sichuan peppers that were not so much chilli-hot but tingly, peppery and aromatic; vegetable gyoza, edamame, prawn and mixed vegetable tempura, and grilled sliced Tasmanian beef in garlic teryaki sauce with mixed vegetables and rice at Satsuma in Soho with colleagues who were treating me to a pre-wedding lunch; and roast beetroot with mild spices, carrot crisps and fromage frais for starter, venison with sour cherries for main, and sour cherry crème brulee for dessert at Baltic in Southwark with old Oxford friends. And the weekend is only just kicking off...

Thursday, February 08, 2007

Snow again

This morning we awoke to snow again, but this time it was rather alot. We felt like kids again walking to the Tube station snapping photos of each other with our mobile phones as the snow continued to come down.

Wednesday, February 07, 2007

The way life is

People at work keep telling me, "Not long now until your wedding, you must be very excited" and I reply with a strained "Yes". During a busy work week, excitement dwells deeper down inside of me and only surfaces more readily at weekends. This is not because I am not looking forward to our big day, but because my head is so crammed full with work issues all day long that I think of little else until the weekend. I haven't had time to really take in the fact that I will be marrying in a few weeks time.

Tuesday, February 06, 2007

Bitter sweet

Bengal is a fertile region of India, criss-crossed with an intricate network of rivers and streams. Here both bitter and sweet tastes jostle for supremacy over the Bengali tongue. Rich and sweet milk desserts are a speciality of Bengal and have made the state famous worldwide. The fondness for bitter foods are a more Bengali peculiarity though and most people outside of the state cannot quite fathom the appeal.

The intensely bitter taste of karola or knobbly bitter gourd cooked with softer vegetables such as aubergines and potatoes in pungent mustard oil and a five spice mixture of whole cumin, whole fennel, whole fenugreek, whole nigella and whole black mustard seeds collectively known as panch phoron is a staple dish - called shukto - among Bengalis and their aroma filling a kitchen transport me straight back to childhood. I've been eager to introduce them to M since I bought a few Bengali cookbooks over the weekend.

As soon as I came home from work tonight, I prepared the shukto. First I fried a handful of dried lentil vadies or nuggets in some mustard oil in a heavy wok for five minutes, stirring constantly, and set aside to drain on some kitchen paper in a bowl. In the same oil, I fried the slices of three medium karola or bitter gourd for another five minutes and also set aside. Then, in a separate heavy based saucepan, I fried a tablespoon of panch phoron until they popped in the mustard oil. Into this I added around a teaspoon of grated fresh ginger, ten patol, or small white striped gourd, which I had sliced lengthways into halves, and a diced large aubergine and fried a further five to ten minutes, adding oil when necessary and taking care that the vegetables and spices didn't catch on the bottom of the pan. I stirred back in the pre-fried karola.

I ground together in a mini blender two tablespoons of Indian poppy seeds and a tablespoon of black mustard seeds to make a dry posto which I added to the pan with a quick stir along with a teaspoon of turmeric powder. To this I added enough boiling water to just cover the vegetables and left to simmer very gently for 30 minutes, seasoning with salt to taste. After 30 minutes I stirred in the pre-fried lentil vadies and two teaspoons of sugar and left to simmer for a further 10 minutes.

Meanwhile, as the shukto was simmering, I made a Bengali red lentil dal. I popped a teaspoon of panch phoron and six tiny dried red chillies in some mustard oil then added a teaspoon of turmeric powder. I stirred in six handfuls of washed red lentils and covered the mixture with enough boiling water to make a runny soup - some four times the amount of water. I added a teaspoon of salt and two bayleaves then left to simmer for 45 minutes, stirring occasionally and topping up the water when necessary.

I served it all with Basmati rice and am happy to say that M loved it all.

Monday, February 05, 2007

Trips down memory lane

"Whilst families tend to save mementoes from special occasions, it struck me that little was being done to keep the everyday material. When the thousands of pieces of this social history are assembled into some giant jigsaw, the result illustrates the remarkable journey we all come through" Robert Opie.

In the middle of the 19th century most of the products produced were sent in bulk to grocery stores which would sell them on to customers by weight, for example dried fruits, leaf tea or sugar. The packaging revolution from the Victorian era changed all that and manufacturers were able to take charge of their brand identity.

Yesterday, we visited Robert Opie's Museum of Brands Packaging and Advertising in Notting Hill, dedicated to the world of marketing and showcasing more than 200 years of consumerism through more than 10,000 food, cleaning and leisure products. A dimly lit time tunnel took us from the Victorian era, the beginnings of radio and television, the war, the Swinging 60s, the glam and punk 70s, the glitzy 80s, right up to current day.

All of it impressed, but I was particularly fascinated by how the colour and font identity of products such as Colmans mustard, Johnsons baby powder and Cadburys chocolate changed little over the decades; how established brands stripped their packaging down to the bare essentials during the rationing years; how visual identity moved from illustrations to photography during the 50s; and how products got larger and larger as the years went on, especially during the 70s.

I was excited seeing products from my own 70s and 80s childhood - packaging for Findus frozen pancakes, Walls ice cream, Birds Eye strawberry mousses in little plastic tubs, Monster Munch and Disco's and Outer Spacers crisps, Luv ice lollies, Snack Pots of dried curry and rice with chicken that you reconstituted with water, the Ker Plunk game, a Paddington Bear teddy and numerous Corgi metal car models.

I took another trip down memory lane to visit my very first home in nearby Ladbroke Grove, though as this was the house my parents brought me to soon after I was born I actually have no memories of the place! My parents rented a flat in the house. Next to them was another young West Bengali couple and below them was an English widow.

A few years before, my father had hunted high and low for a landlady or landlord to not say "Sorry, no coloureds, no blacks" when he knocked on their door. Spurred on by a friendly Jewish newsagent he pressed on and eventually found a friendly house on Ladbroke Grove Road with a landlady who said, "Yes you can stay so long as you don't cook any curries in your room!" A few years later, when he left for married life, his landlady begged him to recommend her room to another young professional Indian. Though a decade before, the area became renowned for race riots, my mother tells me that by the time my parents moved there racial tension had quietened down and she herself received no ill treatment.

While we were in the area, I also picked up a trio of Bengali cooking books from Books For Cooks bookshop - one simply a recipe book (Bangla Ranna: An Introduction to Bengali Cuisine by S. Banerjee) and two others cooking memoirs from West and East Bengal by Chitrita Banerji. They feature recipes such as aloo posto (potatoes with poppy seeds), chingri macher shalmi (prawns with tamarind) and aam shole (fish with green mango).

Today, we popped into our local Indian supermarket on Turnpike Lane and bought bitter gourds, patola (photo above) and dried lentil vadies so I can make M his first authentic Bengali dish this week: shukto or vegetables with bitter gourds, mustard and poppy seeds.

An abundance of river fish, seafood, mustard seeds, lentils, rice, vegetables, and bitter and sweet tastes characterise the food of the wet, fertile Bengal region. In less than four weeks, we'll be honeymooning in India where we will be eating Bengali food cooked by various members of my extended family all day long for two weeks. I am so hungry!

Saturday, February 03, 2007

This is it

On Wednesday, we took an hour off work to meet on Fleet Street at the jewellers who'd designed and made my engagement ring. We were there for our wedding ring fittings. They gave us test rings to try out for fit and width. M has never worn a ring before but he wore his around the house at night, getting used to its feel. We both couldn't stop pretending we were already married - wearing our rings while we cooked, ate, washed up, watched TV and slept, and taking every opportunity to look at our hands in the mirror.

Today, we both took two hours off for lunch and met the woman who'll be conducting our wedding ceremony. She's a friendly woman with a rich, resonant voice. I already trust her to guide us through the momentous hour. M and I have written our own vows and we've selected two poems to be read by our friends. The woman had given us a choice of service and we sat down today to see how to integrate her words with ours and to discuss the general order of events.

It was all rather emotional because I was imagining saying those vows, in front of our nearest and dearest, listening to those readings, looking into his eyes as I held his hand and pressed the ring along his third finger.

This is it, I was thinking.

Friday, February 02, 2007

Quick and easy 2

I cooked another quick and easy post-work meal tonight. Once again it was from Claudia Roden's marvellous Arabesque cookery book.

In a heavy-based saucepan, I gently fried an onion and three cloves of chopped garlic in virgin olive oil until they were translucent. Then I stirred in a heaped teaspoon of ginger powder and pinch of saffron strands. I placed two chicken breasts into this mixture and seasoned the mixture with salt and pepper. I added enough boiling water so that it covered the chicken only halfway and simmered for thirty minutes, stirring once or twice and keeping an eye that the mixture didn't run dry. If I were using chicken pieces with bones, I would have simmered for longer - perhaps 45 minutes and covered them with more water.

After half an hour of gentle simmering, I added the grated zest of one lemon, the freshly squeezed juice of a lemon, a medium bunch of chopped coriander, a can of cooked artichoke hearts, and ten pitted green olives. I continued simmering for another 10 minutes and then served it with Basmati rice.

Thursday, February 01, 2007

Retreating

Two Australian men in their twenties entered the Tube at Warren Street tonight and loudly mused upon the fact that everyone in the carriage had their noses buried in books or free newspapers and no one was talking to one another.

It was 8pm. I didn't look at them, continued to bury my nose in my book, and thought, "I work all day, talking to people all day long. All I want to do when I'm out of the office on my journey home, before I meet up with my other half back at home and immerse myself in conversation again, is retreat into my thoughts and silence."

I think these men have stress-free jobs or work away from people. I treasure the silence of my 30 minute commute home.