Sunday, March 30, 2008

Letting go

8am this morning. I'm still in bed. I have bed hair, my skin is a little oily from the night, my huge pregnant belly is peering out from beneath the hem of my too-small ti-shirt, kohl eye-liner is smudged unattractively around my eyes, my legs need de-fuzzing, I seriously need to brush my teeth.

I text M, who landed in Heathrow from Atlanta an hour ago: "Let me know when you're on your way home and I'll get out of bed." Then I settle back into the pillows with a mug of coffee, a stack of interiors magazines and my iPod on shuffle. 30 minutes later I get a text, "I'll be home in 20 minutes. Don't bother getting out of bed".

I haven't seen my husband in 2 weeks. More importantly, he hasn't seen me in 2 weeks. I look a mess! Damn, I have 20 minutes to make myself look presentable. As I hurtle through my shower, I find myself fuming, Do you not know what it's like to be a woman! You haven't seen me in 2 weeks - of course I need to get out of bed and make myself look attractive! We've been together 3 years, married for 1. But first impressions still count.

By the time I hear his keys in the door, I am presentable but still fuming inside. Of course, when he walks in the door with all his bags - including some goodies for me from DKNY - and looking tanned and handsome, my stress melts away. Especially when he gathers me in his arms and kisses me all over and says, "You look great!"

Okay all you out there in long(-ish) relationships - surely you also still stress out about looking good for your partners? My reaction can't be unique?!

11 comments:

chandni said...

once in a while yes...especially if he's coming back after a few days of office travel...

but there are numerous times he's got me with the dirty hair, out of bed, unwaxed legs look :D

Chakli (globalindyan.wordpress.com) said...

yeah, i do that once in a while but not as often as i used to before. wait a few more years honey...you are still newly married. in a few years, even if you look like the Unabomber it won't bother you. The nice part though is that it won't bother your partner either.

Bombay Beauty said...

A good question, which I am alas unqualified to answer. But it is true that men put much less thought into their appearance (and just as well), but they tend not to realize how much self-conscious, sometimes excruciating thought women go through before they feel presentable!

BB

mumbaigirl said...

I have to second what Chakli says!

Anonymous said...

Ha ha...once my husband (when he was my new boyfriend and we were still in the throes of new and passionate love) surprised me by coming back early in the morning from a work trip and sneaking into my house and snuggling up to me in bed. 30 seconds later he leaped out, because I reeked of garlic and alcohol, having spent the night before eating curry and drinking wine with a friend. I was mortified!

However, 9 years later, there have been several occasions when I have felt grubby and unattractive, but he has told me, unprompted, that I look great and that he loves when I look natural and normal. So if they love you then it doesn't matter what you look or smell like.

But yes, I still try to make an effort for him, but don't stress about it when I'm not feeling so hot. One of the best things about being in a real relationship.

s
xx

childwoman said...

I loved your post. As usual!! :)
S, has never ever commented negative on how I look or my wieght. But he hates to see me without kohl....

Anonymous said...

SilentOne

Cant add anything to what hasnt been said before..
I have to third chakli and totally agree with S..

Planethalder said...

M definitely sees me au natural every morning but it's the first time we'd been apart for so long so I wanted to make an impression/effort. Glad to see that as my marriage progresses I'll be less stressed out about it all after a lengthy absence :-)

Olivia said...

See? He was just happy to see YOU. And the Bump. :)

It's pretty likely from what I've observed in the past that as soon as little PH comes your appearance will take a back seat. Still, it is important for mums not to forget to pamper themselves from time to time.

leslee said...

:-)

I read somewhere that Napoleon would send a letter to Josephine when he was on his way back: "I'm coming home. Don't wash." Because he wanted the smell of her. So not to worry. :-)

eve's lungs said...

Aeons into my marriage and I still do it :)Good luck with your pregnancy - stay calm and dont rush about !