Thursday, March 20, 2008

Intimacy and solitude

I was raised a happy and contented only child, I've been single for more years than I've been coupled up, and I enjoy solitude so much I have joyously spent weeks in my own company not socialising with a soul. When M said he had to go away to the States on business for two weeks, I thought to myself, "This will be fine. I love my own company. It's been a while since I've been truly alone to operate at my own pace only." And I've been enjoyably busy, booking the removals, arranging the parking suspensions, finding the cleaning company, buying a new PC, scheduling BT to install the phoneline and wireless broadband, showing friends and family around the new house, cooking all my meals, reading, writing, dreaming, and of course working. But I miss my other self. I am so much more of myself when I am with him. He enhances me. My life was good before him. But now it's so much better.

5 comments:

Olivia said...

As a fellow lonely only, I know exactly how you feel. I toodle along, functioning fantastically amongst the business of other people, but there comes along a quiet weekend where I can foresee I will enjoy my own company and I actually look forward to it! I too can spend a few days on my own planet.

childwoman said...

awwwww.....thats so cute! :)

Bombay Beauty said...

Yes, this is it exactly. I've spent so much time single that even when I am in a relationship I worry that I am too set in my ways or too independent, too much used to getting by on my own. But when the other is gone, or worse when the relationship ends, I realise how much the rhythms of the other have insinuated themselves into my thoughts and mind and heart, like roots cracking through stone. And though I survive - even more, do well and get back to enjoying my time - exactly as you say I miss my other self.

BB

Premalatha said...

Happy moving in.

leslee said...

Yay! That is very sweet, and obviously you found just the right person to be with.