It was a lovely Sunday. The sun was shining, the sky was blue and the robust wind was cooling on the skin. My mother-in-law was in town and we all took Little Planet out for a stroll in the park in her buggy again. She was asleep for much of the outing but when she was awake she was listening to all the sounds and looking up at the leaves and the sky with her big round eyes. My mother-in-law and I washed her hair when we returned home and then bathed her, fed her and put her to sleep. I then pottered around the kitchen, cleaning up and going online while M and his mother did some hard gardening. My sister-in-law joined us for dinner. M cooked roast lamb with mashed chickpeas and a salad of artichokes and broad beans. We chatted about my mother-in-law coming down one weekend in July to look after Little Planet exclusively so M and I can go out into town, visit some galleries and go out for a meal. But M and I may go to the Tate Modern with the baby in the next weekend or so as I really want to see the Urban History Of Photography and Cy Twombly exhibitions.
Tomorrow, M returns to work and I am unbelievably sad and nervous. We have shared these stressful and tiring but utterly magical two weeks with our new daughter together and now it will be just me and her alone. My parents are visiting for a week and that will be an enormous help I am sure, but I will really miss having M here with me sharing the precious moments. He is also such a fantastic father and so patient with Little Planet. It's been such a support and confidence booster having him co-parent with me for each and every hour of the day. I am so afraid now that I won't be able to cope on my own, that I will be too exhausted, that Little Planet will pick up on my anxiousness and tiredness and become unsettled.
Will I be able to do it on my own? I know rationally that I will, but still I am anxious and nervous and so very, very sad.