When I was a teenager, I imagined a very clear picture of how I wanted my life to turn out when I grew up. I wrote the vision down on a piece of paper and kept it hidden away. I subsequently misplaced the piece of paper, but it didn't matter because the vision was so vivid it had burned into my psyche.
In that vision, I saw the way I dressed, the way I moved, the way I behaved, the man I had married, the home I lived in, the career I had carved out for myself and enjoyed, the leisure activities I pursued, some accomplishments I had achieved...
Fortunately my life has not unfurled exactly to plan and on schedule - I didn't forsee the heartaches, for example, or the illnesses; I didn't forsee how unconfident I would feel in so many situations. But you know what? My real life is pretty close to the life I imagined for myself all those years ago. I have the lovely home, the career that excites me, the husband who excites me and shares my love of food and travel, of city life and culture - the galleries, the restaurants, the movies, the people. I even have some bonuses - things I never actually wished for such as a child.
When I was pondering aloud to Mr Planet the other day why I was struggling to make any "bigger picture" resolutions for 2010, I realised it was because I am finally living the life I have always wanted to live.
I need to start dreaming again. It's time again to envision the next chapter of my life and write it down for posterity.
Oh my goodness, I have no idea where to start...
Sunday, January 24, 2010
In lieu of recent posts, here are some updates from the last two months from my Twitter site. Work is the craziest it's ever been; I don't see my workload easing up any time soon so I need to make more of an effort to post on my blog. I must make this effort because I really enjoy browsing my old posts on here (all the way back to 2004) when I get some downtime.
- I will be working right up to Christmas. Everyone else's clients down tools for 3 weeks over December. Not mine.
- I keep thinking it's Monday tomorrow. I've packed Little Planet's daycare bag, my work bag and I nearly put out the empty milk bottles.
- I'm trying not to hyperventilate over the fact that I have 3 client presentations to prepare and deliver before Christmas :-(
- On top of working, we're hosting a family Christmas again this year for 10+. I see no rest at all for M & I until 2010.
- Super busy at work but still spent a lovely weekend with Little Planet & M, and tonight M & I enjoyed a romantic dinner at Roka on Charl.St.
- What a lovely Xmas. We hosted dinners on Xmas Eve, Xmas Day and Boxing Day all for 12 guests each day. The fun far outweighed the stress!
- We ate roast cod and chermoula on Xmas Eve, roast goose on Xmas Day and an Indian feast (courtesy of my lovely mum) on Boxing Day.
- Roasted ham, broad beans and bubble & squeak (using leftover Christmas veggies) for dinner last night.
- Met up with M after work tonight for a lovely dinner at Yauatcha. Now I have the rest of the week off - yippee!
- All guests have finally left & it's just M, Little P & me for 5 days to spend full-on quality time together before work resumes on the 4th.
- M and I are seeing in New Year with Champers and roast beef. Little Planet is seeing the New Year in with chicken pox!
- 2009: Celebrated 2nd wedding anniversary & Little P's 1st birthday, returned to work, and travelled to Frankfurt, Madrid, Paris & New York.
- I hope 2010 is as wonderful.
- Little P's new word is "Itchy" as her chicken pox takes hold. Both her Grandmas will be looking after her next week, showering her in love.
- I can't believe it's back to work on Monday... Where did the luxury of time go?
- I've decided not to set myself any 2010 resolutions until the beginning of Spring, which feels much more natural.
- Yum, lunch from Ambala - samosa, potato cake, curried chickpeas, and dahi bara.
- 1 of the positives of having kids - the excuse to watch their movies (not that we need an excuse!)? I am looking forward to it!
- Little P's chickenpox is clearing and she's back to her cheery, cheeky self.
- I am glad Little P got chickenpox so young. Now it's out of the way. I, on the other hand, am still waiting to get it!
- Mooli wraps on Frith St - delicious. I had paneer wrap. £5 meal deal - wrap, papads, drink. Eat in it's foil cover tho as will fall apart.
- Another client presentation. Still get very nervous doing them yet I work in client services! Worst part of my job, but shd be the best.
- These days I automatically assume that a lone woman at the cinema is not single but married with a child or two & simply seeking alone time.
- Saw Up In The Air at the cinema after work today. Clooney very good. (Mr Planet put Little Planet to bed so I didn't have to rush home).
- My 19 mth old is waking at 5.30 now after sleeping 7 to 7. She sleeps longer without a day nap though. I'm hoping it's just a phase!
- Attending Saraswati puja with my mum.
- Puja made me realise what a mixed up bunch my family are r.e. religion: mum is Hindu, dad is Brahmo Samaj, I'm Catholic, husband is athiest.
- & Little Planet is "undecided" (I assume). When my parents enrolled me in convent school they deliberately left the Religion field blank....
- ... explaining to the head nun that at 4 years old I was too young to have made up my own mind on religion. My parents were (are) very cool.
- My mum and I are having quality mother-daughter time and going to the cinema to see Meryl Streep in It's Complicated soon.